Couldn't Be
by Dream a Little Harder Princess
Summary: After Danny meets Tori while drunk and rapes her, she is left to deal with the repercussions. But can she? Will she? This fic is rated T-M to be on the safe side. Eventual Tandre, also Bori friendship. Please read and review!


**Hello everyone!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Victorious, it would still be on the air.**

**I wanted to say in advance, thank you for taking the time to read this little fic, if you would also be willing to review, that would be most kind. **

**Warning: This story will contain rape, mentions of PTSD, and pregnancy. This isn't a story for little kids. Also, one slightly graphic rape scene. So please read this story knowing that going in. **

**Anyway, onto the story!**

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Tori shivered pulled the edges of her jacket a little closer together, denying the cool autumn air entrance. It was dark, but the street lit on her left by the fluorescent lights of the streetlamps. She had said that it was fine for her to walk home from Beck's RV, but she was quickly regretting that decision. The normally crowded sidewalks were empty, and the clouds above seemed repressive. Tori sped up.

Her eyes were constantly looking for the next road sign, gauging the distance to her house. She hated that now that Beck and Jade were back together, they were prone to throwing her out, saying that they needed time alone. She wished she didn't know exactly what they were doing right now.

The wind was bashing into her hard, so to deflect it she walked with hunched shoulders. That's how she was when she ambled into him. She finally looked up, "Oh, hello Danny! Sorry to bump into you." She tried to maneuver around her ex, but he shifted so he was in front of her once more.

"Don't be, beautiful," He said, his head tilted down, the strong smell of alcohol thick on his breath. He grabbed her arms and bent down his face so they were kissing.

"Let me go!" Tori shrieked.

"No, I don't think I will," Danny drawled, pushing her down the nearest side street. One of his hands slipped from her hand to the small of her back as he pressed his lips hard against her, forcing her lips apart. His hand drifted even farther down, until it was grasping her butt. His other hand went to her jeans and unzipped the zipper slowly, relishing each and every centimeter. "I've waited so long for this- for you."

It didn't seem to matter how hard Tori fought, or how many times she said no. He would just press himself in deeper at each protest, and the one time that she did call out, he slammed her head against the brick wall. It began to hurt so badly down there that she stopped protesting, in hopes that the pain would become less severe or at least not increase. When he finally explosively came in her, the sigh that came out of him was something that could never be forgotten. He stayed still for a moment, relishing in the moment before taking his now limp self out and pulling his boxers and jeans back up. He made to leave but turned around and whispered in Tori's ear with a caress, "If you tell anyone about this I will kill you." All her slightly concussed brain could think was _it almost sounded like he said I love you_.

She sat on the ground for another moment, before remembering that she should be going home. She looked around sluggishly for her jeans and noticed something thick and white all over her underwear. She shrugged, and then stopping because that caused the pain in her head to increase tenfold, gingerly put them back on, and made to stand up. Her knees gave out beneath her, and tears came to her eyes.

Tori wiped them away angrily and took out her phone. The bright light made her head hurt but she went to her contacts and looked through her friends. She knew that she wanted to call him didn't want Jade tohave her head if she interrupted anything. She bit her lip and resolved to call him. He picked up on the eighth ring. "What" he asked sleepily and contentedly into the phone. She wondered what it would be like, when she finally made love with someone she loved. Would she sound like Beck did now?

"Hey…" Tori's voice cracked, "Could you, umm…" She tried to go on. She really did, but more tears were running down her face.

"Tori? Are you okay?" Beck's voice sounded concerned, and she was pretty sure that she made out a little humph from Jade.

"Could you pick me up and drive me home?" Tori finally got out.

"Sure. That didn't answer my question. Are you okay?"

Tori froze. She wanted to tell him what Danny did to her, but remembered his words, "I hit my head on the pavement really hard, and now my head hurts really bad." She rubbed her head where it had hit the wall.

"I'll be right there."

"I'm near the Starbucks. Hurry," She said into the phone, and rested her head against the brick wall. She moved out of the tiny alley where he had done those things to her and waited for Beck, sitting against the wall.

After what seemed like a lifetime of waiting, Beck's old Pontiac made its way to the curb. Pushing herself against the wall, she made herself get up carefully putting each foot in front of the next. Beck rolled down the window, "Are you okay?" He asked her once again. "You look awful."

"Can you please just drive me home," Tori begged him.

He searched her eyes for a moment, "If you're sure you are okay." He revved the engine. He tried to make idle small talk with Tori, but she just stared out the window. He was starting to get really worried. He pulled into her drive way and awkwardly said, "You know you can tell me if something is wrong?" It came out like a question, although it was meant as a statement, but it broke Tori of her reverie.

"I know," She said with a smile that even she knew looked fake. "Thanks for the ride home."

"Anytime," He smiled. She waved goodbye and he backed out of her driveway and drove off. She trudged into her house and was glad that being home by curfew meant that her parents wouldn't worry about her. She would love to tell them about what had happened but was too afraid of what Danny would do to her if she did.

"I'm home!" She called throughout the house, announcing her arrival.

"Okay," Her mother shouted in response from her bedroom.

Tori walked up the stairs as quickly as her legs would allow and, after quickly grabbing some clothes from her room, went into the bathroom. She put her music in and turned it up loud. Finally, Tori let the tears that she had been holding back for so long escape down her face, leaving salty trails behind. Tori remembered hard hands grasping her butt and pushing himself in, and she barely made it to the toilet before vomiting. Her body convulsed, as if it could rid itself from the memory. When Tori's nausea finally passed, she wiped strings of saliva off her mouth. Suddenly feeling very dirty, Tori stepped into the shower and washed herself multiple times, trying to clean herself of the memories.

She went to bed that night, and that was the first of many that she would spend in flashback.


End file.
